ethical dilemmas in SIU: question #2

is deception ever justified?

so, let's say that one is a dirty fuckin whore who meets people via an online dating service specifically designed for hooking up. let's further say that one meets someone who one likes a lot, but because one has met this person via the aforementioned ODSSDFHU, and one is such a whore that one's profile has specifically rejected "dating" or "relationships," it's a little weird to shift gears and talk about whether one is going to "date." still with me?

so: my intellectual, rational, calm, normal side (which is like 98% of my brain) says "just talk to him. put it out there and if he says he is interested in spending more time together, fine. if not, no big deal." (and i'm not just rationalizing--i really wouldn't cry or anything. i wouldn't even care if he was fucking other people. but i wouldn't mind more phone calls and knowing it was okay to drop by & see him during the day & bring him flowers and stuff.) and that's what i would do 98% of the time. but clearly, "what feels right ain't been working for you dawg. you need to try some wrong."[1] so instead, i am trying to be sneaky.

now, i make no claims to be good at sneaky. i don't have a lot of practice. but anyway, i took out another ad, with a totally new profile, etc., (tho no photos) in the same place where i met jesus. i made a few significant changes, including the stated desire for a dating type relationship. just curious if he will write to the new me. and if he does--do i ask him if he's seeing anyone? how disgustingly sneaky do i get? even the thought of it creeps me out, but hey--it feels wrong, so i'm doin it.


1. said by jay to andy in "the 40 year old virgin," the best movie of 2005. "crash" (and "brokeback mountain," for that matter, can kiss my stank ass. "capote" was pretty good.)


UPDATE: i pulled the second ad after a few hours. just felt shitty about it. am feeling less and less crushed on jesus (though i still like him a lot as a person, but the initial glow is, thankfully, fading), so felt like this was unnecessarily psycho. did post a real new ad, with a photo he would recognize. felt like that was more upfront & honest.